But throw in the fear of COVID-19 and a worldwide pandemic, and you have the recipe for depression, anxiety and a host of physical issues that can worsen over time and even lead to potential self-harm.
The Caring Place wants to make sure you never get to that point.
The Regina-based mental health advocacy and counselling charity continues to take calls and conduct online counselling sessions even in this time of social distancing, offering their services to those who could be most in need as time in isolation continues.
“Obviously this is very unprecedented what we’re going through in the entire world together, in a situation where so much of what we’ve seen as societal norms, where we're able to be close and come together, that’s what we’re being warned to step away from,” said Gwen Friedrich, executive director of The Caring Place.
“Part of the challenge is that as people are interpreting that, there’s a huge level of fear, and that fear is there for everybody, whether they’re afraid of the COVID or not. They could be afraid of what it might do to their job, what it does to their finances, and even their loneliness and isolation.
"The fear of the COVID-19 itself is spreading like the disease and the rest of society and that’s causing a lot of mental health challenges.”
Friedrich pointed to her own recent experience returning from a vacation and having to quarantine for 14 days – and even for a mental health professional well-versed in what she was going through, it was difficult.
“Oh my, it was tough,” Friedrich said. “I have a nice home with a backyard and by the end I was calling it house arrest.”
Fight, Flee or Freeze
What it all comes back to is fear.
The basic biological response to fear is fight, flee or freeze. Your cortisol levels increase, blood vessels in the hands and feet dilate, heart rate and respiration increase.
“Those are all marvelous things if you’re being chased by a bear, but the problem is when we’re afraid of the COVID virus, the same thing happens,” Friedrich said. “It’s not normal for our bodies to be in that state on a regular basis and it’s very destructive. It hurts our mental health, can cause heart conditions and our immunity to go down. So it’s very bad for us.”
Dealing with that state of fear and learning that it doesn’t need to exist is where it all starts.
“So by leaning into it, acknowledging it and getting to a place of peace and then as we move through the process, we gain a tremendous sense of hope,” Friedrich said. “Then we move into action and start doing positive things.”
Lean into the Pain
The first step is finding the pain and then going all in dealing with it until a place of peace is reached.
“It’s almost like there’s a knife in your rib, and the inclination is to pull away from it,” Friedrich said. “What we teach people is to not pull away from the pain, but lean into it. Acknowledge it exists and then just learn to hold space”
For religious folks, that might mean finding help through prayer; for those into mindfulness, through quiet meditation. Hold space, relax into the feeling of depression and loneliness and “just let it wash over you,” Friedrich says.
“After a period of time of leaning into it, you actually begin to experience peace.”
One way The Caring Place counsellors go about helping get to that place is through reframing.
Take a map of Moose Jaw and a three-by-five frame. Centre it on Temple Gardens. That’s Moose Jaw. Centre it on Wakamow Valley. That’s still Moose Jaw.
“It’s the same with situations that happen, they have a plethora of ways of looking at them, and when we go into depression we have our frame around something that is true and it’s only a small piece of the truth,’ Friedrich explained.
“We focus on that small piece and retell that story to ourselves over and over and over and become more and more anxious and it becomes more and more embedded in our minds."
So we look at the whole truth with a picture frame, find a place that’s a better fit and work to get to that place.
“It’s the fork in the road and a counsellor is a very, very good resource to help.”
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
The most important part of the whole process is not being afraid to call – and that you don’t have to be at your absolute lowest in order to seek help.
“Call in long before it gets to the point you feel suicidal,” Friedrich said. “Call if you get to a point where you feel your life is being negatively affected and you don’t how to get to the next place, so it could be at any stage.
“It comes down to when a person has something happening to them and they don’t have the tools in their tool box to get to a place that’s good for them. That’s the time to call.”
There’s no obligation to continue sessions after the first consulation, either.
“Some people will come in once and they get the encouragement and tools that they need and they’re fine. A lot of people will come in three times, some every couple of weeks the rest of their lives,” Friedrich said.
For those uncomfortable with talking to a counsellor, the key is to realize that while the stigma of dealing with mental health might have once been an issue, that isn’t nearly the case any more.
Not with 20 per cent of people in society struggling with depression and up to 50 per cent of people dealing with depression at some point in their lives.
“If there’s four people in a room, if it’s not you guys, it’s me who has depression now or is going to have it,” Friedrich said.
“So just call and get your mental health tune-up.”
While The Caring Place hasn’t been overly busy since the shut-down, numbers have been increasing as time passes and self-isolation continues
“It's slowly building as people understand we’re here and that we can work with them online and things like that,” Friedrich explained. “And people who are coming to us really need to be there, they’ve been trying to cope and handle on their own and they’re just exhausted when they get here.”
How to get help
The Caring Place offers a variety of options to help those who need help.
In addition to their website at thecaringplace.ca -- which offers a variety of resources including information on their programs and services and an option to book an appointment – counsellors can be reached by calling 306-347-CARE (2273) or by calling toll free at 1-877-522-7464 or through e-mail at [email protected].
While in-person appointments aren’t available until the first phase of the Re-Open Saskatchewan begins on May 4, online and telephone counselling can be found at the above.
They also offer a free online depression and anxiety support group running Mondays that people can call in and be a part of.
While the first intake consultation is free, The Caring Place charges for further sessions based on a client’s income.
“It’s set up so everyone can make use of our services,” Friedrich said.
