Since Christmas can be difficult for people mourning a deceased loved one, a community funeral home is hosting a ceremony to offer comfort and tips for making it through the season.
W.J. Jones & Son Funeral Home and Crematorium is holding its 26th annual Mourning Star Christmas Service for the Bereaved on Thursday, Dec. 7, at 7:30 p.m. at 474 Hochelaga Street West in the chapel.
This year’s theme is “Christmas Mourning Glimmers.”
The service is a yearly tradition for many to join with like-minded and like-hearted people to honour the memories of their loved ones, while candle lights, gentle music, the sharing of memories, and the calmness of the sanctuary all provide a chance for reflection, explained organizer Della Ferguson.
“It’s important because in the season that is (so) amped up (and) that is full of lights, full of energy (and) full of joy, folks who have had a loved one die feel that they don’t fit in,” she continued. “They feel overwhelmed by almost the chaos of the season.”
It’s important to help people understand that it’s OK to feel this way because the season is full of rituals and traditions, and when someone is missing from a table or gathering, the ache in people’s hearts is amplified, Ferguson remarked.
This service can help people find strategies to cope and make it through while normalizing and validating their feelings so they know they’re not alone.
Ferguson explained that one strategy people can adopt is understanding that it’s OK to change their Christmas routines and traditions this year. It doesn’t mean that routine will stay changed forever — it could — but it will allow families to understand what serves them best now.
“Give yourself permission to make those changes and know that it’s not dishonouring (and) it’s not a bad thing … ,” she said.
Secondly, people should permit themselves to talk about their loved ones. This means people can hang a stocking and invite family and friends to write memories of — or a note to — that person.
Thirdly, people can buy a gift for their deceased loved one and donate it to the Salvation Army’s hamper fund or another charity.
These steps can inform others of what you need since you’re being honest, while they also help people develop multiple plans so something will work for them on any day, Ferguson added. Multiple options allow friends and family to know why you can’t make a get-together without feeling insulted.
Each year, the funeral home gives a themed Christmas ornament to the roughly 100 people who attend the ceremony. The ornaments are hung on a tree at the front of the chapel, and afterwards, families can take home those ornaments.
Guests are also invited to light a candle; this allows them to lift up the names of their loved ones and toast them in honour.
Joya Johnston will provide meaningful music through song and piano pieces, while Ferguson will share an inspiring, hopeful message on the event’s theme of Christmas Mourning Glimmers.
Ferguson explained that glimmers are “tiny moments of awe,” so the ceremony will encourage people to be open to experiencing those glimmers this season. People don’t have to be joyful, but they should be watchful for moments of light and wonder.
“It’s been proven that when we experience those tiny moments of awe, it contributes to our well-being,” she said.
Ferguson added that the ceremony is open to everyone who is missing a loved one at Christmas, no matter how long the person has been deceased..
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