Growing up with a violent, abusive and alcoholic father and discovering the “undeniable, unconditional love of God” are two major influences that shaped Carol Carley’s life — and contributed to her new book.
Carley, a former reporter and lifestyles editor with the Moose Jaw Times-Herald, has written “Wounded Heart, Healed Spirit: The Incredible True Story of an Unlikely Follower of Jesus.” Her book launch is on Friday, Jan. 19 and Saturday, Jan. 20, from 1 to 3 p.m. at First Free Methodist Church at 375 Hochelaga Street West.
Her book is about how a beaten and bruised 12-year-old girl escaped her alcoholic father’s abuse to become “a bold, victorious ambassador for Jesus Christ.” Moreover, she shares how the power of God transformed her tragedy into triumph.
The book can be purchased by emailing carolcarley@sasktel.net, through publisher Word Alive Press or at Pass the Word bookstore in Regina.
Book launch
“I have wanted to write this book ever since I can remember. I had a lot of time because I’m retired and I had time to do it justice,” Carley told the Express.
Carley is excited to launch her book since it’s “so surreal” to see it completed after spending January to May 2023 working on it. She is also ecstatic with how it turned out since she spent an enormous amount of time editing the manuscript. Her biggest concern is whether she effectively communicated God’s love to people.
Carley always knew she would tell her story if she had the courage; with friends asking for decades when she would write such a book, she took that as God’s confirmation.
It takes confidence and courage to be vulnerable when sharing one’s story, something many people cannot do, she added. She believes being open about her life makes it easier for others to relate to her story.
A turbulent childhood
Carley, 69, explained that she began attending church at age five but never felt the message of God’s love speak to her.
“Because I grew up in a home where my dad made me feel like nothing I did was ever ‘good enough,’ my self-worth and self-image (were) non-existent,” she said. “I felt unworthy to approach God because I didn’t realize that He saw my life as being something of value.”
Until age 12, Carley experienced the devastating effects her father’s alcoholism had on the family. She was embarrassed about the situation since this was a major stigma in the late 1950s and early 1960s.
“I kept everything a secret: from my teachers, from my friends, from our neighbourhood. I didn’t want anyone to know my dad was a violent alcoholic because I thought that was going to be a bad reflection on me and people wouldn’t like me,” she said, adding she is grateful that there are now many ways people can see help for their addiction.
Her father was violent even when he wasn’t drinking, which meant he regularly beat Carley and her mother. His angry assaults often included brutal whippings with a horsewhip.
“I can picture it even now,” she said somberly.
Escaping the violence
One night, Carley, then 12, was doing homework with a friend when her dad’s alcoholic rages began. She told her friend to leave, but the latter suggested Carley stay with her family. So, she packed a small blue suitcase, said goodbye to her mom, and stayed with her friend for a few nights.
“It was kind of bittersweet leaving because I wanted to be there to protect my mom, but (I knew) my brother (David) … would be able to protect my mom, so that’s the only reason I left,” she said.
Carley later lived with another friend for many months afterward.
A ‘spiritual makeover’
Tragedy struck in 1977 when David died in a car accident at age 26. During that time of grief and sorrow, Carley cried out to God for answers and read and studied the Bible. Two questions also popped into her mind: Had David known that she loved him? And, was he in heaven with God?
She later had an experience where God answered her prayers through a vision. After acquiring these answers, Carley committed her life to Jesus Christ on April 27, 1979, at age 25. It was one of the most important life decisions she says she ever made.
Accepting Jesus led to an immediate transformation in her life because upon waking the next morning, Carley felt like she had had a “spiritual makeover.”
“There was a boldness, a confidence and a new sense of courage within me that I had never known,” she said, noting the Good News of Christ was deep inside her and she wanted — and felt empowered — to share that message with everyone.
“I know that I am a very ‘unlikely’ follower of Jesus, but I thank God that He can even use someone like me … ,” she added. “God accepted me; He valued my life. … I did not waste any time telling my mom about God.”
Forgiving her father
Carley learned about the importance of forgiveness during her life, which helped when dealing with her father’s death. While flying to North Bay, Ont., she asked God to take her raw feelings and give her compassion so she could care for him in the hospital.
The Lord strengthened her, while He has given her strength for other challenging situations over the years. She noted that many people think they can overcome struggles by themselves but often fail since many are not spiritually strong enough.
“I believe we need to forgive like Jesus taught us, to wipe the slate clean and move forward. When we truly forgive others, there’s no need to hold onto anger, bitterness, resentment or hate,” said Carley.
While Moose Jaw has no mountains, if it did, Carley says she would climb to the highest peak and shout, “God is alive and He loves you! Give Him a chance!”
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