Retired CFLer JR LaRose believes his experience of overcoming obstacles throughout his life and finding redemption can give hope to people — especially youths — who are struggling and need support.
“For me, there’s a lot of similarities in what my story is to what they’ve (students) gone through,” he said. “I tell people this all the time. I (say), ‘You don’t become a product of your environment, you become a product of your choices.’”
That’s important to understand since it’s easy for people to say they don’t have support and then adopt a victim mentality, LaRose continued. People can only move forward when they break that mentality and put the responsibility on themselves.
One way LaRose encourages people to break free is to seek help and not be afraid to ask for it. Men especially need to ask for support since it contributes to healthy masculinity.
“It’s being able to cry. And you’re not less of a man for being able to seek out help,” he added. “Because I really have a problem when people make excuses or have that victim mentality.”
The former CFL player spoke to a dozen community service agencies on Nov. 26 at the Heritage Inn about his experiences and how he has overcome them as part of Victims and Survivors of Crime Week.
A rough upbringing
LaRose, a member of the One Arrow reserve southwest of Prince Albert, grew up in Edmonton with a single mother who had attended the Duck Lake residential school, was into drugs, and had several abusive boyfriends. LaRose himself was physically and sexually abused as a boy and had anger issues.
His father was Nigerian, but was deported before LaRose was born. He never had any connection with his dad growing up.
Once he started playing football in school, though, that put him on the right path — a difficult path, but one that brought him direction. He played junior football with the Edmonton Huskies and then played professionally for nine years with Edmonton and the B.C. Lions.
LaRose broke his ankle twice — including on the first play of the first game of the season — and his forearm once during his CFL career. He was also part of the Lions’ 2011 Grey Cup-winning team that defeated the Winnipeg Blue Bombers in Vancouver.
LaRose has been a motivational speaker since 2008, making more than 400 presentations to businesses, community groups, service providers, and students, including youths of all socioeconomic backgrounds. He is also an ambassador for Aboriginal people and works with that community regularly.
Find your passion
LaRose explained he didn’t have a support system growing up, was sexually abused by a male babysitter, had no food in the fridge, saw his mother abuse drugs, and grew up on welfare. He knew then that those circumstances were not right, but he only escaped them when he started playing football in school.
“I tell people, ‘You need to find something you’re passionate about,’” he said. “Not everyone’s going to be a pro athlete, but a lot of people are athletic (and) a lot of people are gifted in arts. Whatever it may be, but it’s finding out that ‘why’ … it’s something you have to continue to strive for.”
LaRose’s “why” is his two sons. Since he fears being destitute, he wants to ensure his fridge is always full and wants to break the cycle of poverty. Since he grew up without a father, his mother had to be tough on him and his sister.
“My mom was a true hero to me,” he remarked.
He has told both of his sons about his past. His oldest is an introvert and didn’t say much, while his youngest couldn’t believe his dad had experienced such situations.
“It’s important that our kids know (about that abuse),” he added. “I don’t want them to ever be in a situation. If they’re at a friend’s house and something happened, I would want them to know that that’s not OK and to speak up about it.”
