The seventh inning of the boys’ bronze medal baseball game at the Saskatchewan Summer Games had just finished in a tie, meaning the game was going into extra innings — which, unfortunately, posed a problem because I had to pee badly.
That pressure in the bladder started to build sometime in the sixth inning, likely because I had been drinking more water between innings than necessary. It was an honest mistake, as I had expected hot temperatures for the Games — and instead, it was cold, windy and rainy.
That weather made umpiring somewhat difficult because the wind and rain were blowing from the west — right into my face as the first base umpire. When I was stationed beside first base, I needed miniature wipers to clean my glasses; when I was positioned near second base, the wind caused one eye to shut.
As you can imagine, umpiring a baseball game with one eye closed is hazardous to one’s health since a guy needs to be watching for line drives.
Several times, I had to borrow a rag from a team to clean my glasses. This cloth was meant for pitchers to dry their hands, but I had no problem using it for my glasses — I mean, it’s not like I was going to lick them afterward or anything.
That cold and rain also made it tough to concentrate going into the eighth inning because of their effect on that bladder issue … .
Normally, it would be easy to ignore the urges of nature by the seventh inning since most minor ball games finish by then and are done after 90 to 120 minutes. However, this was the Saskatchewan Summer Games and these were some of the best ball players in the province — and they were talented enough to just keep hitting the ball.
The game’s first three innings took one hour and 40 minutes to complete, while the score was 12-11 at the start of the fourth inning. A combination of things like tired pitchers walking guys and guys connecting with the ball — and maybe the home plate umpire’s strike zone — contributed to the game’s score and length.
Both teams scored more runs in the fourth and fifth innings, but the hit parade quieted down in the sixth and seventh innings, which led to a tie game and more innings.
I’m positive that it was close to noon — we started at 9 a.m. — when we reached the eighth inning, which meant we had been playing for three hours. Neither side scored in that inning, but the bats came alive in the ninth and the teams put up nearly 10 runs.
The game ended in the 10th inning after the visitors struck out, grounded out and struck out again, leading the home team to earn the 20-19 win and the bronze medal.
At exactly 1 p.m. — four hours after we started — my crew and I walked off the diamond as the field maintenance team began preparing for the gold medal game that should have started at noon.
I can now say I have umpired a Major League Baseball-length game and can add that to my sports resumé.
As for that pesky problem of needing to pee, I had asked my plate umpire if I could run to the biffy at the bottom of the seventh, but he said there wasn’t time.
Once the eighth inning concluded with no scoring, I indicated to him that I was going and sprinted like Donovan Bailey to the nearest portable toilet — and boy, what a relief it was to empty the tank. I then raced back to the diamond like Andre De Grasse and the game continued.
