This is the 25th anniversary for the annual Mourning Star Christmas Service at the W.J. Jones & Son Funeral Services chapel on 474 Hochelaga Street, open to anyone in the community for whom this season carries loss and grief.
The event is on Thursday, Dec. 8 at 7:30 p.m. and this year’s theme is ‘The Greatest Gift.’
The Mourning Star service is a yearly ritual for many in Moose Jaw. Candlelight, gentle music, the sharing of memories, and the calmness of the funeral home’s sanctuary all provide a chance for reflection, said Della Ferguson, who organizes the event.
“This was one of the earliest grief outreach projects we did when I began working at W.J. Jones & Son,” Ferguson said. “It’s been an evolution in journeying with folks through their grief and especially that holiday-time grief. It’s been an immense privilege to be present at those ceremonies and to see the meaning that it has for those who gather.”
The holidays can be particularly hard for those grieving the death of a loved one. Reminders of the absence are everywhere, which is why W.J. Jones & Son holds this service in December.
Ferguson acknowledged that not everyone processes their grief in the same way — for some, it is a solitary experience. For others, gathering with others who are feeling the same pain can help them heal, or at least cope for a while longer.
One theory, Ferguson said, is that some people are intuitive grievers, while others are instrumental grievers. Of course, no one is completely one or the other, but the idea can help folks to accept their own process and do the things that are healthy for them, she said.
Intuitive grievers tend to express their grief, share their feelings with others, and seek community supports.
Instrumental grievers tend to hold their grief inside. They may not express the pain they feel, seeking to master their emotions. Rather than gathering and sharing, they may direct their energy toward activities that help them process their feelings.
“Some folks tend to draw away for their process, and some find it really serves them well to gather,” Ferguson said. “It’s an opportunity to be with others who understand, to be in a quiet space that isn’t pulsing with high energy and bright lights. … Our whole goal is to create a safe space … to honour the memory of that loved one.”
Each year, a Christmas ornament is given to those who attend the ceremony. The ornaments are hung on a tree at the front of the chapel, and afterwards families are invited to take those ornaments home with them.
Guests are also invited to come forward and light a candle. Music for the ceremony will be provided by Joya Johnston, who will sing and play piano.
Ferguson will share inspiring, hopeful reflections written by community members on the theme ‘The Greatest Gift.’
“We invite people who are new to their grief to come in, but we also invite those who have been on the journey for a while,” Ferguson said. “To be with others who get it, who understand, and who are also challenged … because their heart isn’t on the same page with the ‘merriness’ of the season.”
