We are in the process of replacing the fence in our backyard. It is a project we think we can do ourselves. Since the three-foot metal poles are firmly implanted in the ground with cement, we are keeping them in place and building new sections with pressure-treated 2x4s. Patti had some definite ideas about the design of the sections and a colour to repaint the metal poles. I decided to abide by her assessment. Probably a wise thing to do in any case.
In this use of the word, abide means to accept without objection. Since its first known usage in the English language in the 11th century, abide has had several meanings, some of which are no longer in use. One of the former meanings was to stop. The band of ruffians proposed to abide him in the field on his way home later that night. I was so intent on my quest that I would not abide, no matter what the consequences.
In the 12th century abide was used to indicate waiting for someone or something. The Wessex Gospels recorded, “Eart þu þe to cumenne eart oððe we oþres sceolon abidan.” (Matthew 11:3) The King James Version (1611) has, “Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?” English Poet Laureate Lord Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892) penned in Geraint And Enid, “And Enid pondered in her heart and said, 'I will abide the coming of my lord, And I will tell him all their villainy.”
Abide can also mean to continue in a place or sojourn. The traditional Gospel Reading for Christmas is from St. Luke chapter 2, “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.” (Luke 2:8) “Lord, Who shall abide in thy tabernacle? Who shall dwell in thy holy hill?” (Psalm 15:1)
A number of the meanings of abide are reflected in Henry Lyte’s (1793-187) famous hymn Abide with Me. “Abide with me, fast falls the eventide. . . . In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.” In fact, in the six verses of the hymn, the word abide occurs 8 times. In the lyrics the word abide refers to bear patiently, to wait for, to accept, to remain stable, to continue in place, or to sojourn.
The expression ‘abide by’ implies to accept and being guided by something. I will abide by your decision in the matter. It can also imply conforming, as in abiding by the rules. I will abide by the rules of golf, no matter where the ball may lie.
Abiding can be used in the sense of continuing for a long time. My high school friend and I have an abiding friendship. Abiding can also imply not changing. I have an abiding love for my wife and family.
You may hear the phrase ‘can’t abide.’ She could not abide such bigots as would divide people based on race. He can’t abide anyone paying for his meal, no matter the circumstances. In these cases, abide implies tolerance or acceptance.
Abidance means the act or process of doing what you have been asked or ordered to do. The babysitter presumed there would be abidance when the time for bed was announced.
Abide can mean to endure with yielding. The general urged the frontlines to abide by the onrush of the enemy.
When it comes to spousal decisions, abide can mean acquiesce. Even though I may disagree with my wife, it is for my benefit to abide by her decisions in various things.
In the Bible Jesus calls upon his followers to ‘abide in him’ (John 15:4-7) In the movie The Big Lebowski, Jeffrey Lebowski (The Dude) proclaims that ‘The Dude abides.’ The movie and the Bible have done much to keep abide in general usage and move people to check the dictionary to discern what the sayings might imply. Abide in both these cases suggests remaining stable and fixed in a state. There is a notion of constancy involved.
Abide also suggests acceptance without resistance or protest. She will abide by the decision of the court.
Patti and I have a love that abides through nearly 40 years of marriage. For this, I am extremely grateful.
