Giving me the fingers

I am trying to be a better person. There are times I may be fooling myself, but at least this quest has caused me to stop and think about my actions. That being said, I still react with my gut more often than with my head. This has caused some problems in the past and probably will in the future. I have been labeled “Interesting” at our local WallyMart, and maybe I have earned that distinction.

I am aware of the department store’s history and their effect on small business. To be honest, it bothers me at the checkout, but the size of my bank account bothers me too. It can be thrifty to shop for certain items at WallyMart and we do spread our shopping dollar as local as possible, but I seem to be in the store three or four times a month and I have found many ways to make those visits entertaining. They are the biggest store in our little town. That means that the store’s staff are familiar and recognizable and that also means that the customers are remembered and recognizable as well, perhaps too easily.

There is a yellow-vested supervisor that seems to have adopted me as a pet project for shopping behaviour modification. I truly believe it is because of an incident a few years ago. While shopping in WallyMart, I had recognized a “lady” who had absconded with my shopping cart (and my loony) from another store a few days earlier; I felt I needed revenge by secretly placing a few items in her cart like condoms and granny panties. I thought myself to be clever until I checked out and the supervisor caught my attention and gave me the “two fingers to her eyes then to my eyes signal” meaning she had witnessed my antics. I was also relieved and maybe encouraged by the thumbs up sign she covertly gave me.

All was fine until a few weeks later when I almost had a heart attack as an extremely loud store announcement was made over the public address system by an inexperienced microphone user who shouted into the mic. I calmly asked the yellow vest lady if I could offer some microphone protocol lessons to the staff because I was tired of being startled by someone yelling into a system that was made to keep people from yelling. Again, with the two finger to the eyes signal but done with a big smile, it seemed she indicated that perhaps it was a sore spot with her as well.

A month or two ago, I was patiently waiting in the checkout line watching the sea of humanity that seems to be my cheap entertainment when I suddenly realized that I had been in that line for almost 23 minutes — but who’s counting? I am retired now and try to make it a point of not rushing to do anything, that includes waiting in line to spend my money.

I went to customer service to calmly comment that it was unusual to wait in line for so long. Sure enough, the yellow vest lady was there to handle my complaint, which she did with tact and diplomacy. In fact, she was so tactful and diplomatic that I think I was told to go to hell and somehow ended up looking forward to the trip. Now that is customer service!

It seems that yellow vest lady is always at the store when I shop. I wonder if she lives there. If she does, I understand why I seem to be under surveillance. If she was in my house, I would be giving her the two fingers.