In addition to the scam e-mails regarding our telecommunication systems and our electricity source, my e-mail is often filled with opportunities to purchase a variety of items I didn’t know I wanted or needed.
Now if only I could find shopping satisfaction in my quest for an old-fashioned plain white blouse, with a collar and three-quarter-length sleeves. And I’m also partial to finding some ready-made, solidly-constructed but reasonably-priced elevated garden stands.
When I tried to use my computer skills to find if such items are available locally I found it oddly disturbing that I was directed to an on-line catalogue that seemed to have hundreds of items that one might want or need in one’s home and garden. I am still uncertain how such computer links take place but in the past they have taken me to interesting sites, occasionally sites I would never visit even if I were aware of their existence. Enough said about those sites.
On this particular day I was directed to a department featuring “apparel and shoes” that contained a decent selection if I had been seeking posture-correcting shirts for men and women, bathrobes for children and adults, knit sweaters, vests, jackets or shoes — but nary any kind of white blouse.
In disgust I moved on to my coveted garden stand and found a photograph of exactly what I envisioned for the back yard, with this lovely lady watering her flourishing high-rise garden patch. In fact the stand looked too good to be left out in the uncertain climate of a Prairie city. The prices convinced me I wouldn’t want it in my care: $299.95-$349.95 plus shipping and handling. Yikes. But then my knowledge of the cost of building supplies needs to be updated so perhaps the price isn’t out of whack.
What changed my mind about this particular stand was the ominous statement: “some assembly required.”
From the garden section I meandered to the accessories section, thinking I might find a substitute for a white blouse. Instead I discovered what every person should have available for all sorts of occasions:
A bullet-proof backpack.
Now that’s something I didn’t know I or anyone else of my acquaintance needed, or wanted. But there is was, being carried by a young man in a plaid shirt, the backpack never once giving the notion it would stop bullets “from most handguns.”
The sales pitch further said the backpack features “concealed armour plates,” comes with a lifetime guarantee from the manufacturer whose credentials include security, self-defence and tactical products. In fact the National Institute of Justice certifies the backpack for Level 111A bullet proof protection.
In addition the backpack includes 20 inside storage panels, has room for a laptop or tablet and can be connected to provide handsfree music from a smartphone. It only weighs 3 1/4 pounds and for extra comfort, has gel padded shoulder straps. Sale price: only $199.95 plus taxes and shipping.
I wonder how many of these backpacks are sold on an annual basis and the age and gender of the buyers.
I am still uncertain how much use the backpack would receive if I were to purchase it, say for Housemate’s birthday next week, or for my own personal use against grumpy folks I meet from time to time. Words, for sure, can pack quite a punch and perhaps the backpack would successfully deflect them.
So what will it be: find someone local to build a garden stand, continue looking for an old-fashioned blouse, or accessorize my padded vest and plaid shirt with a bulletproof backpack? So many choices. Some more practical than others!!
Joyce Walter can be reached at [email protected]
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect the position of this publication.
